Thursday, March 6th, 2008
I USED TO CURL UP NEXT TO RUMBLING MACHINES
WITH SPINNING DISCS AND CLANKING FANS BLAZING
A BOX FULL OF METAL AND PLASTIC
THE UMBILICAL CORD TUNNELING THROUGH THE WALLS
MY CONNECTION TO THE WORLD
I LAY IN SOCKS AND A THREADBARE SHIRT
MY BED IS A MATTRESS UNDER THE DESK
PULSING ELECTRICITY LULLS ME TO SLEEP
I USED TO THINK MACHINES WERE INFALLIBLE
I USED TO WANT TO BE A MACHINE
MY PARETS REPLACEABLE, INTERCHANGEABLE
MADE OUT OF MACHINE BITS
MY MACHINE DIED.
THE POWER BOX FAILED.
THE DRIVES GROUND TO A HALT.
THE LIGHTS WENT DIM.
WHO WILL HUM ME TO SLEEP NOW?
i am invincible. worms!
cannot stop me. gravity
draws the breath from my lungs.
Friday, February 29th, 2008
there are seventeen people in this room. eight of them write with pencils, one of them big and wooden, and the rest are mechanical. everyone else writes in pen. four of them are visibly chewing gum. two of them are male. two are wearing some derivative of pink as the major color of their current dress. six commercially produced water bottles sit in front of five people. one of them contains what appears to be orange juice; the rest contain water. four of them are aquafina bottles. one person has a bottle of caffeine-free pepsi. one person has a red nalgene containing what appears to be water. one medium-sized cup of coffee from starbucks sits in front of someone who also has a bottle of water. one bag of cheezts sits on the table. one laptop sits on the table, but it is closed. an avon catalog sits next to a pink razr cell phone. seven people wear glasses; one person has a pair of glasses on the table in front of her.
Wednesday, February 27th, 2008
i want to get away from all this crap. i want to break my routine and leave my comfort zone and find something new. i’m festering again, like always, and no short period of breaks will make this better in the long term. i need to completely lose myself in everything i do so i can find it all against and remember why i even bother to get out of bed in the morning.
Wednesday, February 20th, 2008
a paranoid schizophrenic on the bus; i noticed him first when he started making these oddly mechanical hand motions, as if he was trying to flatten a piece of paper in the air in front of him while exhaling sharply. it was almost like a snort, but more like air escaping from an overinflated tire for one quick moment before being pinched shut. he looked around quickly, head snapping up and down, left and right, as if it was on a gear attached to his spine, and then, under the guise of wiping his nose or chewing a hangnail, he’d furtively snap a fist against his mouth, lips pressed against his thumb like he was whispering into a tiny microphone. his eyes shot left and right while he mumbled furiously into his clenched hand.